There’s an old joke that says, “What’s the definition of mixed emotions? When your mother-in-law drives your Lamborghini off a cliff”. That is actually a question in Jewish law which discusses a person who inherits a fortune upon the death of a parent. Two blessings are recited, one for the sadness over the loss over the parent, the other for the joy of the financial windfall.
Though the scenarios above are somewhat rare, it sheds insight into our own experiences, and the ability for us to have emotions run abound as we attempt to compartmentalize concurrent events in our lives. Can we focus on one emotion, work with it, and then shift to the other emotion, or do we fumble with both emotions taking over our minds at the same time?
The Torah points out in different ways, that when a person works on their personal growth, when they learn to react properly to situations and create a framework to handle their emotions, that they will be able to set certain emotions at bay when others are required. Case in point, mourning over the loss of a loved one is something that takes over a person’s entire persona. Yet, when a holiday comes, the mourning must cease, as it is a time of joy. The intense grief one felt moments earlier must be shelved for another time. It is a difficult task, but it is a task that can be accomplished when one is truly connected to their emotions and have a great sense of self control.
Experiences such as these are not limited to the individual. Families and communities tend to have concurrent life cycle experiences together. It’s obviously more prevalent in community settings, and being able to experience them simultaneously is a testament to the bonding that exists in the community.
With a small weekday minyan we experienced such a bonding. Within 16 people in one room we had a Bar Mitzvah, a birth of a baby, a 20 year Yahrzeit and a mourner for a parent. As a group, being able to wish consolation to a mourner, a blessing to the soul of the departed, and mazal tovs to the celebrating families, was a bonding experience for all of us. To be able to cry and rejoice at the same time is a dichotomy of life, but as a community and as a people it is a sign of synthesis and unity. We are the Jewish People.
To the working individual, winter early Shabbos is almost like saying take Fridays off. Sure you can get work done, but you feel like you need to leave work about 30 minutes after you get there. It’s pretty much like a shopping spree on a timer. Plus, if you live more than 30 minutes from work, it means you need to leave around 2 or 3pm, especially if you need to prepare the Shabbos meals!
“Sorry sir, you’re overweight”. Though I had eaten a bit too much over the last two weeks, I didn’t get flustered with that comment, seeing that I was at the airport check in with some really heavy bags.